AP Final Harvard Essay Samples
You have completed your final reading of Harvard application essays (songs of experience, molding identity.) What stood out to you and why? What were you able to take from the samples that might influence the final copy of your college application essay? How close are you to a final product? If finished, what direction did you end up taking? Are you confident in your final product? Why or why not? If not, what is your plan of action? DUE 10.14
October 12th, 2009 at 11:35 am
This last batch of essays was quite good, but i didn’t like the style as much. I really thought it was interesting that one writer wrote about her religious journey and being an athiest. I would have thought that would be very risky, but apperantly it worked for her. I have already turned in my applications and actually recieved an acceptance letter this weekend so this batch of essays hasn’t effected my essay much at all. Even so i do appriciate seeing other writing styles and what someone my age is capable of doing.
October 12th, 2009 at 4:13 pm
I wasn’t as big a fan of the Songs of Experience essays as I was the Molding Identity ones. I liked these essays because of who you really learn about the writer, who they are as a person. I especially liked the “Myself” one. I liked the style of how the it was written like a play I thought it was interesting. I think I’ll take more from the Molding Identity essays because I think I would rather write about who I am than an experience I’ve had or something like that. Reading the essays has taught me that like the main point of the essay is to find a way to write about yourself that is creative and memorable without going over the top. I’m not close at all to my final product of a college essay, in fact I haven’t even started because I still have no idea what I want to do with my life, which is just sad. When I do figure it out and start writing Ill probably just write about me, I’m sure it’ll be fine.
October 12th, 2009 at 7:34 pm
Compared to the other Harvard essays we have read, both sets were slightly disappointing. Out of both of them the Molding Identity set were more exciting than the Songs of Experience set. My favorite was “Myung!” by Myung! H. Joh. Not only did I like that Joh started the essay out with a quote to get the reader interested, but I also enjoyed the difference compared to the other essays. By exploring the different punctuation marks that could have been used and then explaining why ‘Myung!’ seemed to suit Joh the best, gives the reader a larger incite into what the writer is really like. Though, in the Songs of Experience set, I also enjoyed “E Pluribus Unum” by Corey Rennell. Rennell tells two sides of the same story, one that has to do with the story itself and the other that has to deal with his emotions in the story. It seems like a risky thing to do, but Rennell does it very well; it makes the reader more intrigued in the essay. Of all my favorite essays from the sets, I tend to like the risky ones the best, so maybe I should take a risk and be more exciting with my essays instead of just writing a bunch of boring mumbo-jumbo that makes the reader fall asleep; like my college application essay. I haven’t started writing an essay for college because I plan on going to a community college, not an actual university for now.
October 13th, 2009 at 12:58 pm
After reading my final packet of essays it makes me even more depressed in the fact that i have nowhere to go. : ( ha. It seems as though every girl in my grade already has their entire future planned out with their boyfriend at MSU… but i don’t. I haven’t even applied to a college yet let alone start another essay. I guess it’s just the situation that i am in with basketball makes me not know where i am at, therefore i have nothing to dwell on in this blog. I could lie and talk about how well my essay is coming along and how much these essays have helped me correct my essay, but i would be lying to both you and myself. On the other hand, i enjoy reading these essays just for the fact of knowing how an experienced writer writes. Like in the first essay, “should i jump.” i actually liked this essay the most because we have a bridge that is EXACTLY the same as the one in the story. This bridge is at the Port Huron beach, i think it’s called Lake Side. I know that almost every kid in our class has jumped off this bridge and the feeling is exactly how this author explained it. That the first one is always the best, as in my case it took me about an hour to actually get myself to jump! ha. I guess i just enjoy the essays that i can relate to much much more.
October 13th, 2009 at 3:44 pm
After reading all of these Harvard application essays, I found that the approach that appealed to me the most was focusing in on one specific event rather than trying to cover a broad experience. The essay “The Lost Game” describes one small topic, but demonstrates this applicant’s writing skills very well, as well as telling the audience the type of person she is. She is able to take a short scenario and exhibit her great control over language. Another essay I like that used this same approach was “One Hundred Pairs of Eyes.” By using such a short, specific event, she is able to add more detail without boring the reader. I realized for my own essays, I want the reader to feel what I am feeling, just like the author of this last essay did. However, I have already submitted my applications to all the schools I am applying to so hopefully my original wasn’t too terrible.
October 13th, 2009 at 4:00 pm
These essays really helped me with what I wanted to write about, so much so that I have already been accepted into weestern michigan! I especially related to the essay about he guy jumping off of a building, not because I myself want to jump off of a building, but because I always play it safe as well. i realize that sometimes a person has to take a change in life. playing it safe will get you the minimum in life. a person has to work hard for what he wants, and be read to fail because on willnot succeed all of the time, but it showed me that i should take more risks, and have a little more fun. everything is not meant to be serious, so i shouldn’t treat everyhing that way.
October 13th, 2009 at 4:02 pm
I will also admt that the essay written by the woman who was an athiest made this paket a bit btter to read. i thought that some essays were good, and some awfull, but overall pleasing.
October 13th, 2009 at 4:40 pm
I didn’t like most of the experience essays. I really liked “The Lost Game,” not quite for content, but the feeling it created: calm, thoughtful, and a curious childishness. These essays have really flipped my idea about a college application. I didn’t know it was acceptable to submit yours on US Geographical maps, if fitting. Essays have always been my least favorite thing to write, thus, I simply follow basic format for an essay and try load in as many examples as possible. Instead, these essays focus on one, meaningful moment – something I enjoy much more.
None of the colleges I applied to required an essay… so I haven’t much to say on the topic of how that turned out…
The essay, “Religion Reconsidered,” I great as far as I agree with the opinions of her essay – but I (being a romantic) wished she would have used more compelling imagery. “Myung!” was amusing and creative with its exploration of possible punctuations to follow his name. My favorite.
October 13th, 2009 at 5:58 pm
Once again these essays have made me feel inadequate about my own writing ability. I think what makes all the essays I have read worth being published in a book is the fact that they are all extremely creative and unique. Anyone can write about how well rounded they are or how many extra curriculars they have done, but these essays write about specific experiences that have shaped who they are today. I especially like the essay “Myself” they style was interesting and would definatley catch the reader’s attention. These essays have made me realize what a college essay could be, not a mundane paper bragging about how wonderful you are, but a captivating story about what makes you unique.
October 13th, 2009 at 5:58 pm
After reading our final packet of Harvard essays my favorite was “Who am I?”. I loved how Cho analyzed the idea of daydreaming and how it was beneficial to human character and spirit. I think anyone can easily relate in some way to contradicting oneself, and it is when we are contradicting ourselves that we understand our true character. What I found to be most common among all of the Harvard essays is to use one single theme or one single experience to present one’s point. When writing my Michian State essay I used small personal observations rather than one large experience and although I liked my essay, reading these harvard ones makes me want to rewrite mine. But I have already submitted it so that isn’t possible, what I will do for my next essay though is concentrate on one moving experience in my life and build off of it so that I may represent myself in the best light possible.
October 13th, 2009 at 6:20 pm
I found these last essays fairly good. In the Molding Identity packet I like The Art of Penning. I liked it because the writer didn’t really take it seriously. They joked about the olympics which I found quite enjoyable. In the Songs of Experience packet I liked The Lost Game. I like the story line, I thought it was cute how the father played games with his kids on the car ride home. I think it’s something a lot of people could relate to. Also, the essay read more like a story than an actual essay, which I liked. As for my essay, there wouldn’t be one as of yet because I am planning on going to a community college and then transfering to a university.
October 13th, 2009 at 7:35 pm
To be honest, I did not like the Songs of Experience essays at all. I thought they were confusing and hard to follow the authors’ thesis. The essay “My Responsibilty” annoyed me extremly because one, i thought the essay’s focus as on his brother, rather than himself, and two, I did not believev what he had to say for the most part. The one essay in this packet that stuck out was “One Hundred Pairs of Eyes”. I thought this essay was extremly imaginative and creative and truly told the reader the experiences brought on being a drum major. It tells me that for my final college application essay, it must be extremly detailed. In the Molding Identity essays, the essay “Religion Reconsidered” stuck out to me. Although it was the first essay i came across, it was the one i mostly remembered. The author explains how she gained atheist beliefs, but also explains how this developed her character. After reading this essay, it shows me that taking a risk, and standing out, can benefit me in the long run. Although I have submited 3 college applications already, these essays will benefit me extremly when writing my University of Michigan application essays. After reading these essays however, the essay taht i turned in at the beginning of the year is useless to me, because i think i have no way to forming that essay into a well developed essay like these harvard essays, therefore, i will start from scratch.
October 13th, 2009 at 8:52 pm
Out of these two essays the one that stood out the most, surprisingly was the one about the guy who could twirl the pen around his fingers. Why it stood out was because, it was such a simplistic idea. I did not realize that one could even remotely turn such a small task into a oompelling essay. As he began to explain how he used a pen. The first thought that crossed my head was “OH MY GOD, NO WAY, You can’t write about this!” Overall, these essays didn’t really stand out to me, my favorite batch of essays were the first packet about the odd moments. However, all these essays did influence the ones i turned in for MSU. When I wrote my MSU essay on how my family influenced me and my future, i took a more creative approach, which before reading the essays was very dry and clear cut. However, I tried to change it around and make it way more interesting. I feel as though these essays have been a major help in guiding my writing techniques.
October 13th, 2009 at 9:11 pm
After reading the last packets of Harvard essays, I have a pretty firm grasp on what is right and wrong to write in a college application essay. One of the essays that stood out to me the most was “One Hundred Pairs of Eyes”, which I thought was really interesting and unique. It stood out to me even after reading a couple packets of these essays. Glynn’s use of language was very connvincing and it helped me to fine tune the imagery in my own essay. I ended up writing a memorable moments essay for U of M. It was the memorable moments essays that stood out to me the most, and those were the essays that I thought were the most unique. I am pretty confident with the final copy of my essay. Reading these Harvard essays definitly helped me to know what to focus on and how to sound intelligent and unique in my own essay. The analysis especially were a very big help in my final editing stages.
October 13th, 2009 at 9:25 pm
I have finally completed the last two Harverd esaays packets. What stood out to me the most were the essays in the Molding Identity because they were more interesting. We got to read about what a person’s personality and characteristics are. In Songs of Experience, we just read it. Some of it was interesting, but we all have shaped our lives based on the experiences we have had. So, getting to know one’s identity was more interesting to me. I liked the way the essay, “Mosaic” was written, even though it was risky. It caught my interest and held it. It also shows the girl’s identity well. I also really like the “Myself” essay because it really shows us that emotions, thoughts, dreams, and personal goals are part of one’s identity and Jamie shows it in this essay. The essay “Who Am I” was also really interesting because he questioned the meaning of life and showed us alot about his identity. I loved the “My Name” essay because it was so perfectly flowed and it taught us alot about her personality. College essays are hard to write about between self-promotion and reflection, but if I prewrite, think it through, and concentrate, I am sure I can do a well-written essay.
October 13th, 2009 at 9:39 pm
The essay that really stood out to me out of the last group of essays was definitely “Who am I?” The author combines lessons that he has learned from his life and biblical messages to write an essay that really touched me. He did not hold himself in a light that tried to make him look perfect, but rather the author told us how it really was. He gave us the good and the bad, what he has learned and what he needs to learn. This essay taught me not to jump around in my college application essay, it showed me to stick to one subject throughout my entire essay. It also showed me that details are important, it gave me the idea to put the reader in my shoes and show them how I was feeling. I am super close to being done with my essay, I have about 1 and a half paragraphs to go before I am done with my college essay. It looks a lot better than the original draft that I wrote.
October 13th, 2009 at 10:04 pm
After reading the last installment of the Harvard Essays I feel the same as ever other set. The essays are always personal, individual and unique, but the essay is only one part of the application process, and some schools do not even require an essay. However, a few essays were exceptional, I liked ” A Mountain School Perspective” and “Religion Reconsidered,” but others fell short, like “Mosaic.” The essays on a larger scale were interesting, but few colleges in Michigan require an application essay, so these essays gave me ideas if I apply to one of those schools, but so far I have not written a college application essay. In the long run, reading samples of successful essays will help with technique and originality of my essays.
October 13th, 2009 at 10:52 pm
In the Songs of Experience essays “The Lost Game” really stood out to me because it was a situation someone could relate to. All that need for adventure that was satisfied so easily, but so effectively. Not a whole lot of exciting things happen in my life, so I feel as though I should be able to write simple things about my life in an interesting way like Stuart. In the Molding Identity essays “Mosaic” caught my eye because it is not usually the style an application essay would be written in. Vullipieres did a great job with it though and I was intrigued by its style. Reading these essays has taught me that my essays just need to stand out and interest people. I finished one of my essays for an application before the school years started so there is no helping that one. The other application that I must write an essay for I have not started yet and have to begin this week, but hopefully these essays will be of assistance.
October 14th, 2009 at 6:23 am
Out these batch of essays I liked the molding identity ones because they were written about sonmething that defined the author. Out of those though, I did not like “Mosiac.” Yeah the title acurately describes all the different things that make up a mosiac of her, but it was too much of a “look at this stuff that i do and think, pick me!” I thought religion reconsidered was well written. I almost thought it would turn into a dispute about religion but the author writes about her specific experiece and only states her opinion that the stories in the bible are good things to learn from. Reading these essays i really understand how ijmportant it is to make sure I’m not writing a list of my accomplishments and why I’m awesome. I do feel that my college application is writte well enough, where it speaks for itself. My last step is to just fine tune it and make my essay more clear to what i want to portray.
October 14th, 2009 at 7:04 am
The final installment of harvard essays read just like every other one, smoothly and with purpose, while i read most famous essays written about general topics, it is nice to read something that has a purpose that i can understand, that is why the songs of experience essays stood out to me.the one where the man talks about twirling his pen was so outlandish to me that it was the eye-catcher. It made me laugh how simplistic an essay can be superficially, yet, there was something to gain from that reading, and so i liked this essay the most
October 14th, 2009 at 7:08 am
After reading these two packets of the Harvard essays, I decided that I favored the Songs of Experience essays over the Molding Identity essays. The experience essays stood out more than the others because they were very personal and they told a story. An essay that stood out to me was “One Hundred Pairs of Eyes”. This introduction of this essay was written was well. The scenario of awareness really caught my attention, and I wanted to read more into the story. These essay packets, like the others, have really convinced me to step outside the box when writing my college essay. I know that since I have been drawn to the unique and interesting essays, I will have to write mine in a similar fashion. I am confident in my final essay because I have gotten a lot of insight from these Harvard essays.
October 14th, 2009 at 7:11 am
I really liked the songs of experience packet. I thought the writers took more risks with their approach to the topic than the molding identity essays. They had really great introductions and did a good job showing how an experience affected them, instead of writing a paragraph about how they’ve changed. I just wrote a biographical essay for an application, similar to these topics and was really worried. I thought I had to pinpoint the one moment that made me who I am, and forever affected my behavior, and I couldn’t (I don’t think anyone can). After reading these essays i fell more reassured. They aren’t about the one pivitol life changing moment, but one of the many and there are multiple ways to approach it without dissecting every action i have ever taken. I submitted my first application with 3 college essays last week. I think reading the harvard essays helped, even though most of my writing was done before reading them, because I could see how many different ways essays had been approached, and that the essay doesn’t need to be perfect to be accepted, it just needs to show who the writer is effectively. I wrote one essay similar to songs of experience, and one about an idea that excites me sort of like the influences essay because it was meant to show why I am interested in the majors I chose. I am very confident in my essay about an idea that excites me. I ended up with a really neat intro focusing on faces and how the muscles contract. I am a little worried about my biographical essay because it was a little rushed, but I think it is comparable to some of the essays weve read and I am hoping the people reading it will see the focus and not the flaws. I still have a lot of essays to write for all of the application supplements, but I think reading these has helped. I actually had an essay idea right after i finished the alst packet, and had to write it down right a way so i wouldn’t forget. I wish we had one essay sample about “why you chose _______ University” because a lot of the schools I’m aplying to ask this question and I’m not sure how to answer it without quoting their pamphlet back to them.
October 14th, 2009 at 7:16 am
I really like the molding identies packet because it is something everyone goes through around this point in their life. We hav to figure out who we really are. My favorite essay was Who Am I, it was simple but it was really well written. I realized that if i am writing about myself, I can keep it simple and it can still be a good essay. After reading this essay, I realized how far back I am. I have started applying to colleges but i dont even know what i want to become. People have figured out everything from what car they want to have and how many kids, and i feel like i am behind. I think even when i do write my college essays, no matter what happens, i will be proud of whatever i wrote down. I think that these essays have really been eye-opening for me. I learned a lot about what to do an dwhat not to do.
October 14th, 2009 at 7:17 am
these set of essays didnt quite interest me much…i prefered the last set when it was about a personal experience that shaped who the person was, which is probably why the essay “Myself” in the molding identity packet. she talks about how her great grandmother influenced her and made her who she is today. to me these are the strongest essays. this is the type of essay i want to turn my college app essay into. I have what im going to write about now i just have to figure out how to transfer my jumbled thoughts to a new and better essay.
October 14th, 2009 at 7:18 am
Okay so..these essays were a fun read. But it seems like the intresting essays are always towards the front and the plain boring essays are always further back. I enjoyed reading “The art of Penning” because I figured the author was trying to prewrite and coulden’t think of a good topic and just started penning. I like how an college application essay to an ivy league school can be about something as simple as a pen. Anyways, these essays made me want to be more unique and creative with my college essay, even if it means the topic is something as plain as a pen.
October 14th, 2009 at 11:44 am
I liked these essays because they revealed a lot about the authors and what kind of people they are. The one that I like the best was “My Responsibility”. It was the only essay I had read so far that was not self-righteous and where the writer admitted that he did actually have a fault, but he showed how that mistake mead him a better person and will improve the lives of others. The “Mosaic” one was too much like a resume. “A Railroad of Memories” and “E Pluribus Unum” were too confusing and did not explain what exactly was going on in the writer’s life. This set of essays helped me because when I write my essays they tend to be too impersonal, they could have been written by anyone. When I write I am going to have to make the essay more personal so that they have more feeling.
October 14th, 2009 at 7:30 pm
I liked the molding identity essays more than the songs of experience because i felt they expressed the author clearly and learned a lot about them. I think my favorite essay out of these essays was “The Art of Penning.” When the author says he has his pen, i thought he meant he just uses it as a writing utensil. He also uses the pen by twirling it. I thought the unique topic of this essay was suprising and it immediately caught my attention. When i started writing my application essay i thought it had to be about a hard challenge that i faced that created who i am, but the simplistic and funny challenge Lan Zhou wrote about makes me want to write about something interesting and unexpected. An essay that i liked in the Songs of Experience packet was “The Lost Game.” It was touching and cute. She does not list all of the things she is involved in,but shows that she has a lot of curiousity.
One main thing that i learned from all of these essays is to stay focused on one main subject and use clear deatails. For my college application i mentioned a couple of events. To make my essay stronger i will focus on one and try to use imagery to make it interesting.
October 14th, 2009 at 8:21 pm
Should i Jump stood out because i think suicidal ideas are not a good thing to show a college. Cold gun,and Myung! stood out a little because they were somewhat unique but for the most part all these essays were boring. This tells me that i can have a really boring essay that contains a lot of information. All the boring essays, like Mosaic, explained a lot about the author. I think this is a good thing to do but i don’t think i would go overboard and make it boring. I wrote five essays, they were not very good but in the end i didn’t even need an essay to get into Western and they already accepted me. So wooptydoo college essays!!! maybe i’ll use what i’ve learned for scholarship opportunities.
October 14th, 2009 at 8:40 pm
I really liked the songs of experience packet of essays because they were more about the authors personalities and actually told a story and the reader can find interest. the molding identity essays were not as interesting and I still prefert the other harvard essays over these choices. I really liked “Who am I?”
because it showed the life of a “real” person. i believe that the author wrote about himslef truley with imperfections and did not show himself to be perfect or a typical person who elaborates way to much to make themselves seem better. This essay was a good example of two sides of the story: the good and the bad. I am mostly done with applications, I took more of the experience rout, and how it has shaped me as a person. I am pretty confident about my choice because I thought that topic was interesting and well relatable.
October 14th, 2009 at 9:08 pm
This last set of essays had many different styles and techniques mixed throughout.Gimmicks were prevalent through essays like “myself”, amazing imagery was used in a “thousand pairs of eyes”, humor was used in “pen twirling” etc. This led to the essays being varied and more importantly personal. In this final batch the writing styles seemed too scream the authors personalities on the page, and while some essays were downright horrible (Mosiac, she might as well of copied her application for her essay) most of them were extremeley solid. I have been playing around with my essay trying too give it that personal touch..every attempt at it so far seems detrimental too the essay, but being the protagonist I am, I have until friday,I’ll figure something out.