AP TW4 response blog
you should be getting better at these blogs by now… make sure you are not just saying you need to add more details… you should share what specifics from the text were missing and how you plan to remedy problems in your rewrite. did you stick to your thesis? did you always come back to the prompt? did you analyze plot or just summarize? did you come back to the work as a whole? continue to compare to student samples and scoring… DUE 10.01
September 29th, 2009 at 7:09 am
My major problem with this book, was that while reading it over the summer, i did not fully grasp the plot of the book. Out of all six books i read i really did not enjoy this one, so i did not pay attention to the plot and wish i really would of. I honestly think that I need to go back when i know there is a timed write that i should go back and revisit the book, so that i am prepared. I know i need to do this for the A.P. Test so i should start now. I try to go back to the thesis and to the work as a whole, but my sentences this time were so vaugue that it was really hard for me to go back to an indepth thesis. So compared to the Student Samples mine really dropped the ball, mine was vauge and simplistic.
September 29th, 2009 at 7:10 am
I did pretty well! I got an 8, the best grade I have been awarded since we started to write these essays, even amongst rewrites. I had two bugs; one weak transition word, and one reference to myself. I origionally thought this essay was a little clunky, and incoherent at times, but maybe I am just a little cynical.
September 29th, 2009 at 7:10 am
*originally!!!!
September 29th, 2009 at 7:11 am
I did not do well on the Frankenstein timed write at all. I read Frankenstein in the beginning of the summer, so I was a little hazy in the finer details of the novel. I relied mostly on plot summary for evidence and this made it seem like I was simply retelling the story, not analyzing it. While I did touch upon the idea that the creation was not evil, and Frankenstein created him irresponsibly, I did so simplisticly. After reading the sample essays, my essay did not compare. The sample essays were much more developed than my own. When I rewrite, I am going to keep the same thesis, just analyzing instead of plot summarizing
September 29th, 2009 at 7:11 am
Like every other essay that i have written this year, i completly screwed up the names from the book. Even an idiot would have remembered that victor and Frankenstien are the same person, yet i managed to mess it up. I’m extremely frusterated with my lack of presentation to all of my hard work over the summer. I spend most of my summer if not all reading these books yet when i write the essays it slools as though i didn’t even open one of them. On the other hand, i thought that out of all the essays this one was my best written. Maybe not in the fact that i explained the character correctly, but my examples of their tragic flaw were right on track. Therefore, i don’t know why i got the grade that i got.
September 29th, 2009 at 7:12 am
My main problem with this essay was my inability to relate the work to the story as a whole. Yet again my writing lacks the tie together that is needed in order to let people understand what mary shelly is trying to say. And yet again that is where i faltered, because my interpretation of the theme of FRANKESTIEN was that we hurt the ones we love, but the real theme of the book was messing with god, and that is where i faltered in my writing. Also, in comparison to the other essay entries that were used, i didn’t compare the actions of Victor to his tragic fall, and that was how i was supposed relate his suffering to the work as a whole.
September 29th, 2009 at 7:12 am
On my timed write number 4 I was able to finally see progress in my writing ability. I jump to points on the AP scale and was able to write a higher level essay. I was able to formulate another thesis and was able to stick with it throughout the entire essay. I did not stick to the prompt, however, and failed to analyze the author’s purpose in writing the book. I summarized the plot yet again and I did not try to explain why the author wrote the things that she did. I came back to the work as a whole towards the end of my essay and was able to tie everything together that I had originally said. This part of my essay was lacking, though, because of my earlier refusal to analyze the plot of the story. My essay was close to the third example essay that we received today. It was not the best, but it is slowly getting there.
September 29th, 2009 at 7:14 am
First of all, I wrote about the monster/creation instead of writing about Victor Frankenstien; that has to be my biggest correction with the essay. I stuck to my thesis and gave a lot of details, though it may have seemed like plot summary because of all the details. I reoccuringly told the reader that the monster was the tragic hero, so I think I did an alright job on writing the essay in a whole, I just wrote about the wrong character. I might have summarized a bit too much, since my paragraphs and the essay as a whole was very long, though, someone else may think that I was just detailed. In the first example essay, it was very well written, they used great details to support their thesis, and hopefully I’ll write like that once I get used to doing all these timed writings.
September 29th, 2009 at 7:16 am
I think in my essay I strayed to much from the thesis by discussing what was wrong with the monster rather than Victor.I wish that I would have included more problems that centered around Victor rather than the monster. By giving a backround about the monster I deterred from the thesis. I only looked at the prompt a few times and although I put thought into what I was going to say I did not focus enough on one specific character. When writing the essay I felt I needed to summarize a little in order tio get my point across but apparently I didn’t really do much good with that.I forgot most of the book so it was difficult to remember what to write about.
September 29th, 2009 at 7:17 am
I have made many improvements over the last few weeks when it has come too writing these essays, but it doesn’t do any freaking good if I can’t remember enough detail from the book too write a strong essay. Therefore my thesis could not be proven by concrete examples, my prose was weak, and my whole essay sucked…I obviously did not read the book seriously enough in the summer.
other problems were: my second paragraph did wander off the prompt, even though it was relevant too my point.
and apparently my opinon is also wrong, it was totally all of victors fault, the creation only killed 4 innocent people with his bare hands, we are totally overreacting.
September 29th, 2009 at 7:17 am
My essay focused on the creature being the tragic hero. I did show support to this, adding detail and analysis, but I was still off base because it was really Victor who was the tragic hero.
I should have written about the dangers of Victor playing God and messing with nature. About how his actions harmed everyone including his creation.
While I did stick to my thesis of the creature being the one who caused pain and I did have descent support of tragedy coming from both sides (on the creaturea and from the creature), it is all null and void when I did not even talk about the right character: Victor.
The samples did a much better job of analyizing how their respective characters contribute to the tragic vision of the work as a whole, going back to the prompt. My only reference to the work as a whole was that the creature’s suffering he inflicted was brought upon by his own suffering, making the entire piece tragic.
However, like I said, I need to talk about the right character but otherwise do the same thing as far as supporting and relating back to the prompt.
September 29th, 2009 at 7:18 am
Okay so this time was really bad compared to last time. it probably was because i did not remember a single thing from Frankenstein. i misinterpreted the story. I did not know what to write for this essay, i pretty much just guessed at everything i was writing. i did not know the authors purpose of the story but now that i do know the theme hopefully my rewrite will be better. My essay was full of random things because i did not know what to write about…now that i can do a rewrite and go back through the book and find actual examples i can do better.
September 29th, 2009 at 7:19 am
In the timed wrtie #4, I chose the creature as the instrument of other’s suffering, when I should have chosen Victor. I did call the creature, “creature”, not “monster”, and I knew that Frankenstein is Victor’s name, not the creature’s. At the end of the essay in the conclusion paragraph, I did mention Shelley’s theme of dangerous knowledge and how her novel exposed the effects of trying to play God. I can see my mistake of choosing the creature, instead of Victor. Now, for the rewrite, I need to switch point of views and write about how Victor was the instrument of suffering to others. I think that if I expound on the ideas I expressed in the last paragraph, I can get my essay to the eight or nine level. I also summerized a little in the second paragraph, which I can fix. I will also try to go more in depth with some of the characters who I just touched on in the essay, like Elizabeth. I also noticed that in the analysis of the sample essay that scored a five, the essay was scored lower because of the basic use of grammer. In the rewrite, I will make sure to employ a sophisticated use of languague, so I can reach the eight or nine level.
September 29th, 2009 at 7:20 am
I thought I was finally getting the gist of writing these essays, but apparently I was wrong. ugh. I did not portray the creation as I should have. I said he was an “evil being” when I even knew what his reasons were for being the way he is. I understood that he was neglected and abandoned, and acted the way he did because of Victor’s irresponsiblity, but I did not write this. I got flustered because I started my prewrite about Victor, switched to the monster, then back to Victor. This is probably why I had a difficult time expressing what I really meant. Hopefully I can be more clear in my next timed write.
September 29th, 2009 at 7:21 am
My biggest problem in this timed write was that I identified the incorrect character as the tragic hero. I chose the creature, but the real tragic hero was Victor Frankenstein. I did call him the creature throughout the entire essay because I read the novel and I know that Victor Frankenstein is the creator. I did not realize that Frankenstein had to be identified as the cause of everyone’s suffering. I thought that the creature also caused all the characters’ suffering. I know now that to get an 8 or 9 level essay I need to try to look at the question from a different point of view and do some more background reading before hand so that I can give the audience exactly what they are looking for. Though I wrote about the wrong character, I felt like I supported my incorrect thesis pretty well with specific examples and that I had a decent writing style. Reading the sample essays before hand, I would compare myself with atleast the 5 because I felt like I had equal or better composition than that writer and that I supported my point just as well.
September 29th, 2009 at 7:21 am
I thought this was one of my better essays…until i got it back. My support from the book was decent but not in detail. I did not explain who or how people died. Other than that, the main problem was tieing it to the work as a whole. I came up with something but it was weak and i did not support it. I don’t know how to support it. i thought my examples of tragic incidences helped show how the tragic hero contributed to the works tragic vision. I stayed on topic. The only difference between my essay and the sample essays is their essays look like they had access to the book. They recall so much detail that i suspect they cheated.
September 29th, 2009 at 7:23 am
I had the right idea for the examples but I did not go in depth enough on each example. I should have focused on the fact that you shouldnt play god and let nature take its own course. I said Victor’s tragic flaw was he was too attached to his work. When I rewrite this, I will focus more on what Mary Shelley was trying to convey. I will also focus on the more in-depth examples from the story. I think the main problem was that I didnt support my thesis with good, indepth examples. I did not come back to the prompt and restate that Victor was the cause of problems. I did analyze the plot but the way that I wrote it was very brief so my examples came of more like a summary. I think that I stated what I was writing about and just went from there. I did not come back to the work as a whole, and I will look to fix it in my rewrite
September 29th, 2009 at 7:24 am
I did pretty well on this timed write, a 5. I remembered the names of the characters this time, which I was happy about, especially since I read the book at the end of the school year last year. There were a few flaws in my essay, though. I didn’t state the concerns of Shelly or the dangers in what Victor was doing. I will change that in my rewrite. Also, I restated the plot some in my conclusion, which will need to change and I talked about the creation too much in my introduction. After making those few changes, I think I will do very well on this timed write.
September 29th, 2009 at 7:24 am
on the timed writed 4 i did slightly worse because I misinterpreted the book and had lack of development. For this timed essay i put the monster as the tragic figure, however i learned now that victor is the tragic figure to this novel.on the rewrite i will have to base the thesis off of that and develop support and information about victor, not the monster. While writting the essay i did refer back to the question numerous times and related it to the monster unfortuanately. next time i think rewritting the essay will be better after reading the sample essays and using victor this time as the tragic hero
September 29th, 2009 at 7:26 am
The score that I got on the fourth timed write was a little better than what I got on the first three, but my essay definitely still had some problems. It was very superficial and concentrated more on the actions of the characters than on the meaning of the novel. For the body paragraphs I need more specific examples of how the pain in the novel is directly related to Victor’s irresponsible actions. I ended with why the reader should feel sorry for Victor, which probably was not a good idea when I was supposed to be explaining why Victor was to be blamed for everything that happened. For the rewrite I need to end with a strong statement that reinforces the fact that Victor was the cause of everyone’s misery.
September 29th, 2009 at 7:27 am
I thought that I was going to do well on this essay; I liked the novel and thought that I understood it well. When I received my third 7, I was frustrated at not being able to reach the next level. The reason for the sevens is due to my repeated negligence to answer the full prompt. I did not tie Shelley’s overall theme of the novel into my essay, which prevented me from reaching my goal. The sample essay that received a 9 made me realize at that point that my essay was not up to par. The writer concisely answered the prompt with full understanding of the Great Gatsby. On my rewrite I will have to intertwine Shelley’s message with my essay and restate my thesis in the conclusion
September 29th, 2009 at 11:36 am
I tried really hard on this essay but it seems as though I didn’t try at all. I stated the thesis, several times over and still no luck. Mr. fouchey used to tell me that I could say that pigs flew, as long as I had concrete illustrations to prove it, but it just doesn’t seem to be working for me. I felt like I had a sense of what I wanted to write about, but I uess it didn’t translate into the essay. Now, I just don’t feel very confident in my writing abilities anymore.
September 29th, 2009 at 11:37 am
Timed write #4 was my best essay so far, but once again I did not go into depth on how Victor Frankenstein contributed to the tragic vision of the work as a whole. I chose the right character and used good examples, I just need to mention Shelley’s themes of how knowledge can change people and their actions, how nature should not be disturbed by man, and what happens to people when one tries to play God. I also think I was scored a 5 because I did not go into depth in the examples. Comparing to the lower scored essays, I still need to work on my vocabulary.
September 29th, 2009 at 2:22 pm
Timed write 4 was okay for me. I didn’t get an 8, but I didn’t do horrible. I think that for the most part I got the main idea of the paper, I understood that it was Victor Frankenstein and not the creation who was the tragic hero. I just need to do a few tweaks to get to an 8. Really the main problem that I have is staying focused and connecting everything back to the prompt. I need to make sure that I am constantly relating back to my thesis and explaining how events add to the theme of the novel. I knew I wasn’t getting an 8 because compared to the sample essays, I simply did a summary of the plot without analyzing these events and relating them back to my thesis and the prompt itself.
September 29th, 2009 at 3:52 pm
I thought this was one of my better essays, but when i got it back i was a little surprised at getting a low score. Although my essays content focused on Victor Frankenstein being the tragic character, my thesis statement stated that the monster had tragic qualities. I think that if i fixed this glich in my essay, my AP score will improve. Also, to add to the essay, I need to explain how Victor’s tragic qualities caused suffering to others even before the creation of the “monster”, showing that the “monster” had no affect on the tragedy of Victor.
September 29th, 2009 at 7:01 pm
I thought that I acutally did good on this timed write essay, but I did very poorly. I completely mixed up the characters and did my whole essay wrong. I thought that the monster was Frankenstein. I wrote about how he had a tragic demise from the sufferings of others, but I should have written about Victor who is in fact Frankenstein because that is his last name. The monster did not have a name. I messed up the whole essay, did not follow the prompt, so I need to rewrite this in order to get a better grade. I also summarized and stated the plot again and again. It was just useless babbling on that I should have not put in my essay. I compare very poorly with the sample essays we read in class. They have well-thought out essays. I just rushed in mine without even figuring out the characters names.
September 29th, 2009 at 8:49 pm
I thought that I did well on this essay when I was writing it because I had a lot of information to write down. Unfortunately, I only had written down a ton of information, and it was a complete summary. Although I have made slight progress in my timed writes, I am still not at the 8 or 9 level. I only summarized how Victor Frankenstein was the character with the tragic flaw. I did not follow the prompt’s main point of not summarizing the essay. I understand how Victor is the tragic character, I just need to translate it on paper a little better. To receive and 8 or 9, i must go into great depth on how the characters were affected. I will also need to focus on the thesis in each of my paragraphs, and link everything together.
September 29th, 2009 at 9:25 pm
Even though I only got a 5, I am incredibly happy that I am improving. I’m improving slowly, but it’s getting there. Once again, I am lacking detail. I just can’t seem to recall specific points in these books and it is frustrating. My essay was labeled as weak and I knew this as I was writing it. I believe it is more pressure then anything. It’s so much easier taking it home and looking at it for a long period of time then stressing staring at the paper for 10 minutes before starting to write. I think I need to start preparing the night before and stop stressing when it comes down to it.
September 30th, 2009 at 6:58 am
I’m getting really frustrated with the timed writes and my grades I receive. I don’t really understand what I’m doing wrong and I don’t know how to fix it. I feel that I’m giving detail and putting it back to the thesis but that’s never the grade I get. I don’t know if I’m not going in depth enough or I’m not saying it right and my thesis is wrong or what I’m doing to get a three. The three essays I read are complete summaries with no analysis at all and I know I’m doing some sort of analysis in my essay. I feel incompetent and I know I can get better than a three on my first try. I’m starting to second guess my writing ability and starting to give up hope on doing well the first time around on these essays. I’m not really quite sure what the question asks anymore because when I try to answer it, the answer seems very wrong and off base because of my grade. I’m not really sure what I am doing wrong or how to fix the problem and it’s a very frustrating experience.
September 30th, 2009 at 7:08 am
I thought this essay was the most well written of all of my timed writes. It was packed with concrete illustration to support my thesis and it referred back to the word as a whole. Unfortunately, i chose to identify the monster as a tragic character. I saw him as a stronger example because he was born a victim, and this victimization lead to the pain of others, where Dr. Frankenstein chose to create the monster that would lead to his demise. I was always taught that literary anaylisis did not need to be “correct” but well supported, because enough concrete illustration could prove any point.I am very upset with my grade because I feelmy essay was equal to, if not better written then the example of a 5. It was not oversimplified, incomplete, repititous, poorly developed, or misinterpreted. I understand the plot of Frankenstein quite well, and used my knowledge to appraoch the assignment from a different, though not incorrect point of view. After failing all 4 of my timed writes and making little improvement i am beginning to doubt my ablity as a writer and my decision to take the class.
September 30th, 2009 at 7:08 am
Out of all the other timed rights so far, I felt like this Frankenstein essay would be the one. I used alot of supporting details and examples. But…if I would of chosen Victor instead of the creature as the figure that brings suffering to others, I know I would of done alot better. I thought when I first read the prompt that it was a little to obvious who was the one bringing suffering on to others. I guess if I would of actually thought about it for a moment instead of assuming it was the creature right away, I would have helped myself.
September 30th, 2009 at 7:18 am
My first mistake in this timed write was the fact that I said “the creation” was the figure that contributed to the tragic vision of the work as a whole. Wrong. That is easy to fix because all the things that Mrs. Eb wrote on my paper and said aloud about Victor really made sense. I did try to stick to my thesis but then I created another thesis without even realizing it. I was saying two different things by the middle of the essay. (creation makes Frankenstein suffer vs. pursuit of knowledge is tragic) The first sample essay kind of confused me even though it was written very well. I felt that it relied on the plot. I made sure I did not do that, just site specific examples. I guess I need to figure out how to tie in everything to the thesis more. The first writer did make sure the plot he talked about fully exemplified his thesis, which made it not a summary. His ideas were really clear also. I need to work past my simplified, elementary-like ideas and tie everything into the thesis better.