AP influences COLLEGE APP ESSAYS
Your second set of top Harvard application essays are themed by influence. What did you think? Any favorites? What made them stand out from the others? How has reading real college application essays and the analysis of each helped you to prepare your own college application essay? DUE 10.02
September 29th, 2009 at 7:22 am
I enjoyed these essays, but not as much as the other ones. The first ones we read were more about experience and simple things, and these seemed more deep and to be honest most of them made me sad. The topic, I realize is influence, but most of the writers right about intense topics like “Two Good Friends”, in which Gutman, writes about losing his friend; making the essay hard to read because I couldn’t imagine losing a best friend. Though, I did enjoy “Dandelion Dreams”. It was more light-hearted than the other stories, even though, you can feel the emotion Chuang is trying to convay. I also like that essay because most people can relate. At one time, we all had big dreams of silly things like unicorns or becoming royalty. The reason this essay stood out is because it’s easy to relate too. Not only that, it was also written very well, though, I thought Chuang should tell what happened to her sister, instead of ignoring it. Reading these essays do help me to see what colleges are looking for so when it comes time for me to write my own college application essay, I’ll be ready.
September 29th, 2009 at 7:25 pm
I really liked these Harvard essays too. Some applicants were influenced very deeply and others were influenced to take a step right then and there. Some of them even influenced me in a good way. One of my favorites was “Lyubouv and Viktoria” It was so cute and very well-sequenced. It made me very sad though. I liked how the girl, Viktoria, focused on how her mother’s illness and death played a major role in her life. I like how she started the essay with the meaning of her mother’s name and the connection her name had to it. It is a very passionate essay about her mother’s bravery against cancer and love. I absolutely loved it! I also very much liked the “Tears and Fears” essay. I loved how the sister was always their for her sister before and after her sister became mentally sick. I want to always be there for my sisters! After reading these Harvard college essays, I have started to realize that I do not need to just base it all on experiences. I can base my essays on how something has influenced me in my life to help me become the person I am today. The anaylsis helped me know how I can make my overall essay to be well balanced and supportive of my main thesis.
September 30th, 2009 at 7:04 am
After reading this set of Harvard application essays, I must say they were good, but I enjoyed reading the other ones more so, because I felt that the previous topic allowed for more of a diverse story, anything could be said. However, these essays were very well written and they did really convey emotion in the topic. My favorite one was “Lyubov and Viktoria” it really got to me and I felt like it was a disease that effects so many people however, this one felt different then the rest. It was the detail of the names, i thought it was adorable and really made it feel like the two were closer than just a mother and a daughter. By reading these essays i have changed how i write my essays they are not so cut and dry, rather they have subtstance and style, I need to make them a little more detailed, but still I have seen my writing change after reading these essays.
September 30th, 2009 at 7:06 am
When I think of influencial, I think of big, life changing events. In these Harvard essays about influences, they are not dramatic experiences, but merely stories about family and friends. I liked these essays because I could relate to some of them. I thought the memorable essays were more interesting then these though. These essays were filled with emotions of grief, love, and happiness. The one that moved me the most was “Two Good Friends.” The author elaborated on the death of his friend, and hiss friends father. The essay really made you think of how short life is. I also liked the essay “Dandelion Dreams.” I could relate to it because at one time in my life I wished upon those weeds. I also like the realization the author goes through when she realizes none of her fantasy dreams will come true. After reading these essays, I now have a better understanding on what colleges are looking for in the application essays.
September 30th, 2009 at 7:07 am
I liked these group of essays alot more than last weeks, because almost each essay dealt with someone that influenced the people’s lives. Each essay had a unique way of taking a small situation and turning it into an amazing essay. I wish that i used this method in my essay over the summer because my father mines so much to me, and i feel i could have done the same with my essay as these people did in theres. My favorite essay(which is hard to choose) was “tears and Fears.” A matter of fact i almost cried at the end of it. I dont know why… maybe i was emotional that day ha but it was just so real at the end of the novel. When she drew out the image of her and her suffering sister in bed and how she watched her sleep was definantly a way of words.
September 30th, 2009 at 7:12 am
I thought most of the essays were decent but the essay that I really liked was the Two Good Friends, and A Great Influence. The Two Good Friends stood out to me because one of my cousins, who was a close friend has died, so I know what the author went through. A Great Influence stood out to me because we have all had a teacher who was different from the others teachers and who really made and impact in our lives. After reading college essay’s, I thought some of them were good but then I read the analysis and they werent what the college was expecting. Now, as I write my college essays, I can tell what colleges expect when they give me a prompt. Based on these essays, I can improve mine.
September 30th, 2009 at 7:23 am
My favorite essay was Lyubov and Viktoria. It was written in a creative way and focused on the author more than the influence. My least favorite was The Beast. I thought it was a simplistic interpretation of th etopic and told very little about the author except for the fact that she has curly hair. The other essays revealed very raw moments, but this one barely skimmed the surface. I thought other essays focused too much on the influence. Reading these essays showed me that i could appraoch topics in a serious way and not worry so much about being “witty.” They also reminded me to focus on myself, not the influence or the event in order to showcase my abilities and character traits.
September 30th, 2009 at 2:05 pm
These essays, though mostly still impressive, were much more what I expected Harvard application essays to look like. They were not shocking, but well thought out for the most part, and products of good writers. I though the essay “My Mother’s Books” had great fluidity and maturity. The writer was able to take the general portrayal of his mother and turn it into an interesting essay full of emtion and personality. It also highlighted his ability as a writer. I also like “Dandelion Dreams.” The essay flowed smoothly, beginning with the scene of her wishing on dandelions, then returning to dandelions again in the conclusion. She was able to accurately portray the effect of her sister’s absense to the reader, and left me wanting to know more about her situation. In the essay :Michael and Me”, I was not as impressed. The topic was unique and interesting, but the author did a simplistic job executing it. Reading these essays was helpful. I now feel like I am understanding what sets one essay apart from the rest.
September 30th, 2009 at 5:43 pm
I enjoyed reading this group of Harvard essays. I personally think that the influential essays tend to be a little more depressing than other ones, which I think really reaches out to the reader and makes you actually feel something when you read them. I felt like a few of them were a little long and at times boring, particularly “Between a Rock and Home Plate”, it just seemed to go on forever. Other than that I actually liked them all pretty well. My favorite was probably “Dandelion Dreams” because it was simple and the way she writes about dandelions really draws the reader in because we can all remember making wishes on dandelions as a child. I also think that this group of essays helped me more in understanding how to better write my own essay because I too wrote about an influential person in my life. These essays have really taught me that it is better to paint a picture of the influences, and not just tell your story without putting any real personality into the writing.
September 30th, 2009 at 9:19 pm
I do like the essays based on influences, but i liked the ones on memorable moments better because they seemed more compelling. Some of the influence essays also seemed long and full of details that were not needed. However, some of them were sad and touched the reader. A favorite essay of mine was “Dandelion Dreams,” because I think a lot of people can relate to it. Not the hardship, but what the author had learned from her sister. People make wishes and dreams by blowing on dandelions, but they learn that this is unrealistic and most likely will not come true until one chases after their dreams. One thing I really liked from a few of the essays was the humor and commical approach they took. For example, in “The Beast,” I really liked the opening paragraph. I would like to incorporate some humor into my college application essay. Just a little, to make a smile come across the reader’s face. Reading the analysis of each essay has taught me how to analyse my own. The analysises are really helpful and one can take in the problems from those essays and look for them in his own.
October 1st, 2009 at 11:34 am
This batch of essays was a mixed bag. While in the first set (events), the essays were consistent in their high quality (for the most part), this set of essays did not share that consistency. Some essays were the strongest I have read so far, while others were among the weakest. Essays like “a great influence” and “Tears and Fears” were well focused, memorable and affecting, each with a great story, and “Tears and fears” was heart wrenching. While essays like ” between a rock and home plate” were weak, no focus, and consists of simply rambling about something too the point where I’m beyond caring. I have began too realize that one of the main things colleges want in their essay are specific events and details, and a well focused theme. I will try too make sure too narrow my focus, and cite specific events in my essay.
October 1st, 2009 at 8:02 pm
I thought the second Harvard essays were good, but not as captivating as the previous Harvard essays. I think this because the topics that the students wrote about other people infulencing their life choices, although interesting, I liked directtly hearing about the student and what makes them unique by themselves.I did happent to like “Lyubouv and Viktoria” because this was an essay in which the writer grew from her expereince of her mother passing away. I absolutly loved how she told the story behined her name and its meaning. I believe that this essay worked well in stating how a person infulenced them, but also that she was a stron victorious person that overcame many things due to her mothers death, and the readers are able to find out alot about Viktoria as well. I learned from these new essays a new perspective on writing essays. instead of writing about my self and experiences, another aproach would be to write about the people that help get me to the place I am today.
October 1st, 2009 at 8:45 pm
These essays had a more serious tone than the previous. That being said, i found that they were equally as engaging. My favorite essay was Lyubov and Viktoria. I thought the elequonce and strength the author portrayed while writing about an extremley difficult subject was amazing. She did not write the essay for the application reviewers to pity her, instead she wrote how her mother’s death made her a stronger person, and she did so in a completley non-cliche way. From reading these essays I think i need to work on narrowing the scope of my essay to a specific event in my life, since that seems to be what works for all the authors of the essays i have read so far.
October 1st, 2009 at 8:57 pm
These essays were exremly different from the moments essays, however, I expected influencial essays to be about how certain people in our lives have had an extreme influence on our lives, but while reading these essays, i personally thought that some of them did not explain how a person really impacted them, but merely touched their lives, but many excelled. While reading these essays, i could tell that these applicants are well writers, but what stuck out the most to be was how vividly they described their feelings. For example, in “Two Good Friends”, the author often describes his emotions of grief and hardship, that strengthen his essay tremendously. The essay that stood out the most to me was “Lyvbov and Vicktoria”, which was full of emotions. Altough the author wrote on a common topic, an illness of a family member, the way she approached the essay, and touched me, aloud this essay to stand out.
October 1st, 2009 at 9:53 pm
These essays that were themed by influence,were pretty good, but I enjoyed reading the memorable moments ones more. These essays were well written, with the topics well thought out, but the other ones were easier to read probably because I’m not much of a deeply serious person. One did touch me more than the others and that was “Two Good Friends.” This one was heart wrenching for me because I could never imagine losing my friend.Reading all these essays and their analyses helped me learn that I do not have to feed them what I think they’re looking for. All they are really looking for is something that is unique to myself and is well written with details supporting what I am trying to get across.
October 1st, 2009 at 9:54 pm
I liked these essays substatially less than the memorable moments essays. Though I’m certainly not a top-peak writer, I didn’t think these essays were written very well. (Shows what I know, they were accepted into Harvard.)
Many, I thought, had a cliche idea or way of phrasing things. Like in “Lyubov and Viktoria” Slavina wrote, “As Lyubov’s daughter, I have vowed to continue her legacy. I try to handle adversity with courage and urgency and to take nothign for granted.” Perhaps I’m being too harsh, but this piece in particular was one giant eyeroll for me. Especially the second paragraph which has an air of boasting about her outstanding over-acheiving character.
These essays, in a way, do help me prepare for real college applications. I tend to think of essays as a fill-in-the-blank kind of deal. These essays had structure and a clear focus, no matter how much I hated reading such “blah” essays like “Tears and Fears.” However, they are subtly showing me that I could pull myself from that boring style of writing I fall into – that “just give them an answer” mentality…
October 1st, 2009 at 10:32 pm
I found these essays more interesting than the other essays because I feel like I could write an essay similar to these. There have been a lot of people in my life who I feel have influenced me in big ways. I feel like these essays were more personal because the reader sees a very deep side of the writer. I really liked Dandelion Dreams because I like the way that she took something that upset her and looked at it from a different point of view to help her learn something. These essays are helping me to write my own college application essay because they encourage me to let the reader share a private part of who I am, I need to let the reader be a part of my life, feel like they really know me.
October 1st, 2009 at 10:54 pm
I thought that many of the influence essays sounded like cookie-cutter college application essays. When writing my own essay, I worried about sounding too cliche, like I was writing about what I thought a college administrator would want to hear. After reading some of the essays like “Lyubov and Viktoria”, I thought that althougth her mother’s cancer was very sad, she could have chosen a more unique topic or wrote about the situation in a more unique way. I did enjoy reading the essay, “The Beast”, in which the author described taming his unruly curly hair. I thought his essay had a unique approach that some of the others lacked. My main worry in writing my own essay is that it will not stand out from the vast majority of the other essays that a college recieves. I just want to choose a topic that will be unique and original to me.
October 2nd, 2009 at 5:12 am
I thought these essay’s were much more interesting. I felt like they writer’s of these essay’s included much more detail and I felt that I understood each of them better. My favorite was probably “Lyubov and Viktoria” I thought that some of the sentences in this essay were really clever and I thought that the essay as a whole made one think more about irony of the two women’s names. These college application essay’s have helped me to want to write essays that are personable and that stress a point through a personal story. If I can do that I feel as though have done my best.
October 2nd, 2009 at 5:33 am
These essays were good but not as interesting as the other ones. i haven’t really been paying too close attention because i’ve finished all of my applications already. I didn’t really have any favorites, the other ones caught my attention much more. The first packet helped me much more and i was able to finish my essay and submit it. Now only to wait for a response…but i feel confident in the essay i wrote and i appreciate these packets, cause without them i probably would have still been working on it.
October 2nd, 2009 at 6:41 am
I rather enjoyed these college application essays, but they were not as good as the other ones. My favorite essay, was the first essay, “Dandelion Dreams.” It really spoke to me and the author seemed to write more and more efficiently as the story went on. The author’s ideas matched the author’s age in the story and it seemed appropriate. What made it stand out from the rest of the essays, was that the author compared and contrasted her thinking from her early childhood to her high school years. It has helped my writing by showing me that I need to get personal with my essays and get more specific. I also need to have a point when I write my essays.
October 2nd, 2009 at 6:45 am
I thought that these essays were pretty good, but not as interesting as the others. The others caught my attention much more. One of my favorites in this packet was Dandelion Dreams because it was easy to relate to. A lot of kids wish on dandelions and then go through the period of their life when they realize that things like that aren’t possible; dandelions can’t grant wishes. These essays have given me ideas on what I could write about. I, personally, think I would write about memorable moments still just because the essays were so much more interesting to me.
October 2nd, 2009 at 6:47 am
I liked the second set of essays much more than the first. The first set caught hold of my attention more quickly, but I thought that the second ones were deeper and they seemed to have more meaning. In the second set they were writing about things that actually made them who they are today, and you can get a better glimpse of their personality. I think it is more difficult to write about an important influence, something that is meaningful to you, than it is to tell about a certain event in your life. These essays helped me because I now have a better idea of how to write about a difficult subject.
October 2nd, 2009 at 6:49 am
These essays kept me interested while still remaining simple and short. My favorite essay is “The Beast”. I love how the author calls his hair a beast. It reminds me of austin nacarrows hair. We all love his hair. I’ve already been excepted by Western but if i could, i would rewrite my essay. I never thought of writing about inspiration. Coach Shaw and Coach Monte are my hero’s and inspiration.
October 2nd, 2009 at 6:50 am
I enjoyed reading these essays on influence, but the memorable moments essays had much more variety and were funnier. The influence ones seem alot more personal and deep. The one that touched me the most was “Lyubov and Viktoria.” When reading these blogs I notice everyone really liked that story. The writer said she was influenced by her mom who had cancer. Im sure a million people have wrote about someone they love having the same thing, but this writer stuck out more because she was very creative and positive, instead of just talking about how sad it was for her. By reading these essays it helped me to understand that colleges aren’t looking for another boring or lame story about something the next kid will write about, they want a one of a kind, out of the ordanary, once in a life time essay.
October 2nd, 2009 at 6:51 am
I liked both sets of essays. The essays that i like the best though are the essays that i liked the most are the ones that tell you about the person writing not just a story. They are more compelling when it is telling you about them and why they are like that. One essay that i really enjoyed reading in the Influences essays was the Dandelion Dreams. The story told a very good lesson about dreams and how you can not just simply wish for something and expect it to happen you have to make it happen yourself. This essay helped me because as you read you feel like you are learning this lesson along with her. It helped me realize that my essay needs to be less choppy and bland and more bold and flowing and story-like.
October 2nd, 2009 at 6:53 am
The second set of essays had a braod scope of life experiences some talked about curly hair, some talked about best friends, but all of them were unique. Some were rather bland, some sought the sentimentality factor, but the essay that stood out was “My Mother’s Books.” It was the longest essay and the influence was above interesting. I liked that he struggles with not knowing his mom completely, and how many details he gives. His essay is long, but through length we can see how influencial his mother has been. Both cycles of Harvard Essays prepare me for the competitive world of college, and shows me the broad range of topics hopeful applicants are capable of.
October 2nd, 2009 at 6:55 am
The second set of essays had a broad scope of life experiences, some talked about curly hair, some talked about best friends, but all of them were unique. Some were rather bland, some sought the sentimentality factor, but the essay that stood out was “My Mother’s Books.” It was the longest essay and the influence was above interesting. I liked that he struggles with not knowing his mom completely, and how many details he gives. His essay is long, but through length we can see how influencial his mother has been. Both cycles of Harvard Essays prepare me for the competitive world of college, and shows me the broad range of topics hopeful applicants are capable of.
October 2nd, 2009 at 7:00 am
these essays are not as outlandish in style as the first packet of essays were, as a result i was confused as to why they were so exceptional.also, literary devices like melonchally moods, which seem to be so unnatractive threw me for a loop, and so i bring to question what the writer was thinking, and then again, that mystery most likely made his work so thinking. i plan to use more literary devices from the original packet rather than this one though.
October 2nd, 2009 at 7:02 am
These essays were interesting, but not as interesting as the other ones. One of my favorite stories was “The Beast.” While the other stories talked about death and are filled with sadness, this one talks about his hair influencing him to become more comfortable with himself. It turned out quite well and I learned that you don’t need to right about a sad influence for it to turn out well. I was getting depressed reading all of them, but this one made me happy. The fault with it though was that it told a story and that is a problem that I could forsee happening with me, so I’m glad I read these.
October 2nd, 2009 at 7:02 am
These essays were surprisingly good. Most times I hate getting reading assignments, but this did not feel like work at all. it was actually relaxing. I loved the essay about the Women with cancer who still finds time to be a great mother. i thought of my own mother while reading this because my mother never has a break throughout the week, especially when she had Diabetes. When the girl Viktoria lost her mother it reminded me of when I lost my oldest brother. That essay touched me because I could relate to it and it reminded me of good memories, as well as bad. It moved me.
October 2nd, 2009 at 7:19 am
The first group of essays were much better in my opinion, these speak on more serious issues, and have great structure to them, but they just don’t make you remember them as vividly as the first set. The one about the mom with cancer touched me, yet left me feeling more depressed than anything. These essays have shown me a less unusual way to write my college app essay, but i’d much rather go with the writing style of the first set.
October 2nd, 2009 at 7:23 am
Of all of the stories I read in this set, I liked “My Mother’s Books” the best. I thought it was interesting to see how Blanchfield views his mother and how those views have shaped HIM. I like the detail with which he depicts his mother, and how he uses the books she read to show her personality throughout her life and throughout Blanchfield’s life. This set of stories was not as good as the last set, but it was at least as enlightening.